![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lillian_petersonTitle: Neapolitan Ice Cream
Pairing: Spencer/Brendon/Haley
Word Count: ~2600
Disclaimer: Did I mention I made this all up?
Summary: Contrary to popular opinion, Brendon is not confused about his sexuality.
Author’s Note: Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
trixiesfic. This is my first fic ever, so, um, I hope she likes it?
Betaed bystrangecobwebs who is a goddess among women and also reins in my typographic abuses.
Part I:
Contrary to popular opinion, Brendon is not confused about his sexuality. He hasn’t been since the tender age of twelve. In fact, it was the Church (in combination with a poorly supervised library computer) that had sparked that particular epiphany. Brendon was fairly certain that it wasn’t the priest’s intention when he lectured Brendon’s Sunday school class about the evils of homosexuality, but all Brendon can really remember was thinking that holding hands with a boy sounded kind of nice.
It took another few weeks and some rather confused internet searching before Brendon had concluded that one could definitely like holding hands with boys and girls. It didn't take Brendon long to decide that he was the kind of guy who found that idea pretty awesome (he never had been good at choosing between things; why pick one when you can have both?) and it took him no time at all to be okay with being that kind of guy.
But Brendon had never really met anyone – boy or girl - that he was attracted to. Sure there had been a girl or two in high school that smiled at him and even a boy at an ice cream shop who once gave him a wink, but they just hadn’t seemed….special enough to be worth putting up with all the inevitable awkwardness that came with high school dating – the increased parental scrutiny, the constant lectures about marriage Brendon had heard five times over (once with each sibling). That is, until the day he met Spencer James Smith V. To be fair, the day he met Spencer, Brendon was in fact way too nervous to do more than notice that the kid behind the drum set was pretty cute. He was far too focused on impressing Ryan, and making sure that he didn’t act like too much of a goof and embarrass Brent for bringing him in the first place.
But in the days that followed, it became pretty clear to Brendon that the cute boy behind the drum set was in fact, quite possibly, the love of his life (or at least his very first crush). However, Brendon’s joy at finally finding someone he was attracted to (he had started to worry that there was something wrong with him) was short-lived. As far as Brendon could tell, Spencer was apparently irredeemably, irrevocably straight. It sucked hard, but Brendon figured he could live with that. After all, he still got to be friends with Spencer, and at least he knew that he was capable of finding other human beings truly attractive.
Brendon had felt fairly mature and responsible about his attitude toward the whole situation. Sure it was sucky, but he felt like it was a very adult decision, which, to be honest, was a pretty big deal for someone constantly accused of behavior better fitted to a six-year-old on a sugar high. Brendon counted his decision as having been good practice for the adulthood his parents shoved him into when they kicked him out of the house and into the arms of the local Smoothie Hut. All-in-all, Brendon felt he was making the best of a tragic situation and was okay with that.
That is, until he realized that fate must have one hell of a vendetta against him. It hadn’t worried him (much) that after meeting Spencer he hadn’t met anyone else he was attracted to. He was busy with the band and stuff, and he really didn't have time for all that, between school and smoothies and proving his parents wrong, and of course, the music, so it just wasn't a big deal. At least, he hadn't been worried until he finally did meet someone else he was attracted to…and that person just happened to be one Miss Haley, the apparent love of Spencer’s life (and Brendon was pretty convinced that it wasn’t just a crush for either of them).
Seriously, the world just was not supposed to work that way.
Brendon tried to console himself with the fact that just like with Spencer, at least he got to be friends with Haley. But the more time he spent with each of them, and the more time he spent with them together, the worse it got. Whether baking cookies with Haley, playing Guitar Hero with Spencer or watching Project Runway with the both of them (straight or not, Spencer totally had a crush on Tim Gunn), Brendon just couldn’t help falling in love with them. But as much as he loved Spencer and as much as he loved Haley, he loved Spencer-and-Haley even more. So Brendon dealt. He smiled, and laughed and tried hard not to feel like the loneliest little toaster ever.
Part II:
“I just don’t get it, Spence. I mean, how could our plan go wrong?” Haley gestured toward the wall, where “Spencer and Haley’s Five Point Plan of Awesomeness for Seducing Brendon Urie” (complete with checkboxes and a squirrel in a pith helmet drawn in the lower corner) hung, somewhat askew and a little bit stained from the coffee Haley had knocked over in her excitement during the plan’s birth.
If Spencer was being honest, the plan really hadn’t worked all that well. It had seemed like a good idea when he and Haley had decided that more serious action was needed to get Brendon to notice them (and from there, get him into bed with them), but what had worked in theory hadn’t worked quite as well in practice.
“I mean, we’ve gone through all five points!” Haley pointed at the plan, reading off each step like a self-help guru.
“One: increase amounts of public affection in front of the target.” (All that had accomplished was making Brendon hurry out of the room whenever Spencer and Haley sat down next to each other.)
“Two: prepare target’s favorite food.” (Which had led to a three a.m. fire alarm and three very angry bandmates. Ryan had seemed particularly displeased at Spencer’s apparent inability to bake a simple angel-food cake without causing disaster and mayhem.)
“Three: create and deliver mysterious yet seductive mix tape.” (That had turned into a particularly amusing bout of ‘guess who has a stalker this time!’ Not exactly the reaction they had been looking for, although maybe including both the Sting and the Puff Daddy versions of “I’ll Be Watching You” had been a bit much.)
“Four: Leave threesome pornography badly hidden around bus and on computer screens.” (Brendon had mostly just turned red and tried to awkwardly apologize for knocking the magazines off Spencer’s bed. He hadn’t even tried to say anything to Haley after stealing her laptop to check his email.)
“Five: Rope target into playing truth-or-dare.” (Turns out, Brendon absolutely refuses to play any kind of middle-school kissing game including, but not limited to, spin-the-bottle, strip poker and seven minutes in heaven. He claimed it had something to do with a particularly traumatic experience involving sixth grade, a closet and one extremely angry cat. That was all he would ever say about it, though.)
“And still, nothing! And to make it worse I think he’s really trying to avoid me now. Do you think he really doesn’t like me? Is that it?” She was nearly in tears.
“That’s not it, babe,” Spencer told her, giving her a quick hug. “I’ve seen how he looks at you. Maybe…” Spencer paused. “Maybe he really doesn’t like guys?”
Haley gave him a look. “Really? Brendon? Not like guys?”
Spencer shrugged. “Well, I don’t know! It’s possible. Pete’s straight!”
“Brendon Urie is not straight,” Haley said definitively. “But maybe he really just isn’t interested,” she said quietly.
“I guess so. So that’s it, then?” Spencer asked.
“Yeah, I think so.” Haley laid her head on Spencer’s shoulder with a sigh.
Part III:
Jon and Ryan were convinced that the only thing worse than lonely-little-toaster Brendon was the despairingly moping duo of Haley and Spencer. They had been watching the three dance around each other for months, Spencer and Haley making some sort of concerted effort to outdo the grossest of middle school couples anytime Brendon walked into a room and Brendon getting flustered and red, only to run away on some ridiculously made-up errand.
As if that hadn’t been bad enough, sometime in the last week or so something had changed. Haley and Spencer had stopped their surprise make-out attacks but could barely summon up a smile between the two of them. They weren’t fighting with each other; it was almost like they were in mourning together. Brendon was drawing more and more into himself while at the same time projecting a flat caricature of his cheerful, bouncy self (it was like watching cotton candy personified, bright, fluffy and absolutely devoid of anything worthwhile). Spencer’s bitchiness was ramping up to heights no fourteen-year-old girl could ever hope to reach and his smile was pulling tighter and tighter. Haley was doing her best to be normal but more and more often fell into silences that made her seem far away from everyone around her.
It had to stop. Jon and Ryan weren't sure exactly what was going on, but it was clear these three were crazy about each other. As Jon pointed out, "you only see this level of weirdness in two places: zombie movies and romantic comedies. And since none of them have started moaning about brains … " Ryan felt that whatever Jon lacked in elegant turn-of-phrase he made up for in his obvious correctness. Besides, that was why Ryan wrote the lyrics.
Part IV:
Jon and Ryan decided that direct action was their only hope. Ryan had cornered Haley and Spencer on the couch by launching into an incomprehensible diatribe about French cinema, grotesques and something to do with the economy of Hong Kong. Jon came in with Brendon on his back just as Haley and Spencer’s eyes had glazed over. Jon dumped Brendon on the couch next to them and growled “stay!” Brendon looked over at Spencer and Haley, confused. Haley’s first thought was that this was the first time Brendon had looked at either of them without blanching for a very long time.
“This – ”
“ -- is an intervention – ”
“ -- for your own sakes – ”
“ --but mostly for ours.”
It was downright creepy how well Jon and Ryan managed to weave their speech together. Spencer was a little jealous. After all, Ryan was supposed to be his best friend, and it was bad enough that the boy he and Haley were in love with didn’t want them, but now he had to be supplanted by Jon as well? Haley actually perked up a little and looked hopeful. Brendon was the first to pipe up.
“I don’t know what you guys are talking about and seriously Jon, luring me here with piggybacks and the promise of lattes and I would like to point out the complete lack of lattes in this room – ” all in one breath, voice going faster and higher into incomprehensibility.
“Brendon! If you don’t shut up and listen I swear that I will dye all your hoodies black and hide every single glitter pen, puff paint tube and pipe cleaner on this bus somewhere you will never ever find them!” Little known fact? Jon can be one cruel and scary motherfucker. Ryan’s got nothing on him when it comes to believable threats.
“Now, if we have your attention,” Ryan’s drawl was deceiving – soft, but coupled with the glare of a thousand fiery suns. Spencer, being the type to burn easily, wisely chose to stay silent.
“You three have been running around like it’s the end of the world and somebody stole your pudding cups. Frankly, Ryan and I are tired of being the secondary characters in some fucked-up romantic comedy!”
“You three are going to sit here and be honest with each other if it kills you. Otherwise we will kill you.” Ryan gestured towards the door. “Zack is standing outside with some fairly explicit orders. Jon and I will be leaving now. We expect you to figure this out before we get back.”
Jon and Ryan swept out the door, practically arm-in-arm. All three residents of the couch stared after them, faces screwed up to varying degrees of shock and horror, all equally red-faced.
Part V:
Several very silent minutes later, Haley’s quiet voice broke the air. “Um, uh…” Spencer couldn’t take it any more.
“Brendon, Haley and I love you,” he blurted. Brendon’s face turned an even deeper red than before.
“…But…” Spencer had never heard Brendon’s voice sound quite so … small.
“But we understand if you don’t feel the same way,” Haley said. “And we’re sorry if we’ve been making you uncomfortable. We just thought… well, hoped really, that you could maybe love us back even a little and I know that probably seems weird and you’re all grossed out and please don’t stop being our friend, we didn’t – we didn’t mean to – ” Haley trailed off as she finally looked up into Brendon’s face, which had gone perfectly still.
“Brendon?” Spencer’s voice was hesitant, but steady.
“I… I don’t understand. Is this a joke? Do you guys think this is funny?” Haley’s head shot up. Brendon didn’t sound angry or embarrassed, he just sounded sad.
“Why would we think this is funny Brendon? We – Spencer and I – have been trying to get your attention for months. We had a whole plan! You can’t tell me you didn’t notice anything! We thought maybe you were just trying to be polite and you didn’t really like us that way, that maybe you were skeeved out about the whole idea –“
Brendon interrupted Haley. “Wait, what?”
“Well, you keep running away all the time – ” she tried to explain.
“Well, you two keep making out practically on top of me!” Brendon shouted.
“So that maybe you’d take the hint and join in!” Spencer said exasperatedly.
“And all the porn lying around …”
“Was supposed to give you ideas!” Haley was yelling too. Brendon’s laugh rang out and both Haley and Spencer’s heads shot up, incredulous looks on their faces.
“Well, it certainly accomplished that. I’ve had plenty of ideas!”
“So why do you keep running away?” Spencer whined.
“I didn’t know you guys would think they were good ideas! What was I supposed to think, having horribly dirty thoughts about my drummer? And then having even dirtier thoughts about his girlfriend? I’ve been feeling like the worst friend ever and I’ve been in love with both of you for so long and I thought Spencer was straight and now you tell me you had some asinine plan to seduce me? You couldn’t have just told me?” Brendon’s voice had escalated into full blown shouting by the end.
“We didn’t want to scare you! I mean, you’re family’s Mormon and you’ve never shown the slightest interest in anyone and how the hell were we supposed to know?” Haley shouted right back at him. Spencer laid a calming hand on Haley’s arm. “Sorry, sorry, it’s just, I thought there was something wrong with me, and then you started to get sadder and sadder and I thought it must be my fault – our faults, and why are we fighting about this, oh my god, just kiss us already!”
Brendon hesitated, looking carefully at both Spencer and Haley. “Are you sure? Because I was kind of ok not having either of you – ” Spencer’s snort forced Brendon to amend his statement. “Alright I was almost okay with it, but I don’t think I could handle having you both and then you deciding it was fun but that three really IS a crowd.”
“Brendon honey, we’ve put a LOT of thought into this. Just, trust us, okay? Now,”
Haley glanced towards Spencer, eyes sharp and sly. Leaning forward she breathed into Brendon’s ear, “about those dirty thoughts….”
Pairing: Spencer/Brendon/Haley
Word Count: ~2600
Disclaimer: Did I mention I made this all up?
Summary: Contrary to popular opinion, Brendon is not confused about his sexuality.
Author’s Note: Written for
trixiesfic. This is my first fic ever, so, um, I hope she likes it? Betaed by
strangecobwebs who is a goddess among women and also reins in my typographic abuses.Part I:
Contrary to popular opinion, Brendon is not confused about his sexuality. He hasn’t been since the tender age of twelve. In fact, it was the Church (in combination with a poorly supervised library computer) that had sparked that particular epiphany. Brendon was fairly certain that it wasn’t the priest’s intention when he lectured Brendon’s Sunday school class about the evils of homosexuality, but all Brendon can really remember was thinking that holding hands with a boy sounded kind of nice.
It took another few weeks and some rather confused internet searching before Brendon had concluded that one could definitely like holding hands with boys and girls. It didn't take Brendon long to decide that he was the kind of guy who found that idea pretty awesome (he never had been good at choosing between things; why pick one when you can have both?) and it took him no time at all to be okay with being that kind of guy.
But Brendon had never really met anyone – boy or girl - that he was attracted to. Sure there had been a girl or two in high school that smiled at him and even a boy at an ice cream shop who once gave him a wink, but they just hadn’t seemed….special enough to be worth putting up with all the inevitable awkwardness that came with high school dating – the increased parental scrutiny, the constant lectures about marriage Brendon had heard five times over (once with each sibling). That is, until the day he met Spencer James Smith V. To be fair, the day he met Spencer, Brendon was in fact way too nervous to do more than notice that the kid behind the drum set was pretty cute. He was far too focused on impressing Ryan, and making sure that he didn’t act like too much of a goof and embarrass Brent for bringing him in the first place.
But in the days that followed, it became pretty clear to Brendon that the cute boy behind the drum set was in fact, quite possibly, the love of his life (or at least his very first crush). However, Brendon’s joy at finally finding someone he was attracted to (he had started to worry that there was something wrong with him) was short-lived. As far as Brendon could tell, Spencer was apparently irredeemably, irrevocably straight. It sucked hard, but Brendon figured he could live with that. After all, he still got to be friends with Spencer, and at least he knew that he was capable of finding other human beings truly attractive.
Brendon had felt fairly mature and responsible about his attitude toward the whole situation. Sure it was sucky, but he felt like it was a very adult decision, which, to be honest, was a pretty big deal for someone constantly accused of behavior better fitted to a six-year-old on a sugar high. Brendon counted his decision as having been good practice for the adulthood his parents shoved him into when they kicked him out of the house and into the arms of the local Smoothie Hut. All-in-all, Brendon felt he was making the best of a tragic situation and was okay with that.
That is, until he realized that fate must have one hell of a vendetta against him. It hadn’t worried him (much) that after meeting Spencer he hadn’t met anyone else he was attracted to. He was busy with the band and stuff, and he really didn't have time for all that, between school and smoothies and proving his parents wrong, and of course, the music, so it just wasn't a big deal. At least, he hadn't been worried until he finally did meet someone else he was attracted to…and that person just happened to be one Miss Haley, the apparent love of Spencer’s life (and Brendon was pretty convinced that it wasn’t just a crush for either of them).
Seriously, the world just was not supposed to work that way.
Brendon tried to console himself with the fact that just like with Spencer, at least he got to be friends with Haley. But the more time he spent with each of them, and the more time he spent with them together, the worse it got. Whether baking cookies with Haley, playing Guitar Hero with Spencer or watching Project Runway with the both of them (straight or not, Spencer totally had a crush on Tim Gunn), Brendon just couldn’t help falling in love with them. But as much as he loved Spencer and as much as he loved Haley, he loved Spencer-and-Haley even more. So Brendon dealt. He smiled, and laughed and tried hard not to feel like the loneliest little toaster ever.
Part II:
“I just don’t get it, Spence. I mean, how could our plan go wrong?” Haley gestured toward the wall, where “Spencer and Haley’s Five Point Plan of Awesomeness for Seducing Brendon Urie” (complete with checkboxes and a squirrel in a pith helmet drawn in the lower corner) hung, somewhat askew and a little bit stained from the coffee Haley had knocked over in her excitement during the plan’s birth.
If Spencer was being honest, the plan really hadn’t worked all that well. It had seemed like a good idea when he and Haley had decided that more serious action was needed to get Brendon to notice them (and from there, get him into bed with them), but what had worked in theory hadn’t worked quite as well in practice.
“I mean, we’ve gone through all five points!” Haley pointed at the plan, reading off each step like a self-help guru.
“One: increase amounts of public affection in front of the target.” (All that had accomplished was making Brendon hurry out of the room whenever Spencer and Haley sat down next to each other.)
“Two: prepare target’s favorite food.” (Which had led to a three a.m. fire alarm and three very angry bandmates. Ryan had seemed particularly displeased at Spencer’s apparent inability to bake a simple angel-food cake without causing disaster and mayhem.)
“Three: create and deliver mysterious yet seductive mix tape.” (That had turned into a particularly amusing bout of ‘guess who has a stalker this time!’ Not exactly the reaction they had been looking for, although maybe including both the Sting and the Puff Daddy versions of “I’ll Be Watching You” had been a bit much.)
“Four: Leave threesome pornography badly hidden around bus and on computer screens.” (Brendon had mostly just turned red and tried to awkwardly apologize for knocking the magazines off Spencer’s bed. He hadn’t even tried to say anything to Haley after stealing her laptop to check his email.)
“Five: Rope target into playing truth-or-dare.” (Turns out, Brendon absolutely refuses to play any kind of middle-school kissing game including, but not limited to, spin-the-bottle, strip poker and seven minutes in heaven. He claimed it had something to do with a particularly traumatic experience involving sixth grade, a closet and one extremely angry cat. That was all he would ever say about it, though.)
“And still, nothing! And to make it worse I think he’s really trying to avoid me now. Do you think he really doesn’t like me? Is that it?” She was nearly in tears.
“That’s not it, babe,” Spencer told her, giving her a quick hug. “I’ve seen how he looks at you. Maybe…” Spencer paused. “Maybe he really doesn’t like guys?”
Haley gave him a look. “Really? Brendon? Not like guys?”
Spencer shrugged. “Well, I don’t know! It’s possible. Pete’s straight!”
“Brendon Urie is not straight,” Haley said definitively. “But maybe he really just isn’t interested,” she said quietly.
“I guess so. So that’s it, then?” Spencer asked.
“Yeah, I think so.” Haley laid her head on Spencer’s shoulder with a sigh.
Part III:
Jon and Ryan were convinced that the only thing worse than lonely-little-toaster Brendon was the despairingly moping duo of Haley and Spencer. They had been watching the three dance around each other for months, Spencer and Haley making some sort of concerted effort to outdo the grossest of middle school couples anytime Brendon walked into a room and Brendon getting flustered and red, only to run away on some ridiculously made-up errand.
As if that hadn’t been bad enough, sometime in the last week or so something had changed. Haley and Spencer had stopped their surprise make-out attacks but could barely summon up a smile between the two of them. They weren’t fighting with each other; it was almost like they were in mourning together. Brendon was drawing more and more into himself while at the same time projecting a flat caricature of his cheerful, bouncy self (it was like watching cotton candy personified, bright, fluffy and absolutely devoid of anything worthwhile). Spencer’s bitchiness was ramping up to heights no fourteen-year-old girl could ever hope to reach and his smile was pulling tighter and tighter. Haley was doing her best to be normal but more and more often fell into silences that made her seem far away from everyone around her.
It had to stop. Jon and Ryan weren't sure exactly what was going on, but it was clear these three were crazy about each other. As Jon pointed out, "you only see this level of weirdness in two places: zombie movies and romantic comedies. And since none of them have started moaning about brains … " Ryan felt that whatever Jon lacked in elegant turn-of-phrase he made up for in his obvious correctness. Besides, that was why Ryan wrote the lyrics.
Part IV:
Jon and Ryan decided that direct action was their only hope. Ryan had cornered Haley and Spencer on the couch by launching into an incomprehensible diatribe about French cinema, grotesques and something to do with the economy of Hong Kong. Jon came in with Brendon on his back just as Haley and Spencer’s eyes had glazed over. Jon dumped Brendon on the couch next to them and growled “stay!” Brendon looked over at Spencer and Haley, confused. Haley’s first thought was that this was the first time Brendon had looked at either of them without blanching for a very long time.
“This – ”
“ -- is an intervention – ”
“ -- for your own sakes – ”
“ --but mostly for ours.”
It was downright creepy how well Jon and Ryan managed to weave their speech together. Spencer was a little jealous. After all, Ryan was supposed to be his best friend, and it was bad enough that the boy he and Haley were in love with didn’t want them, but now he had to be supplanted by Jon as well? Haley actually perked up a little and looked hopeful. Brendon was the first to pipe up.
“I don’t know what you guys are talking about and seriously Jon, luring me here with piggybacks and the promise of lattes and I would like to point out the complete lack of lattes in this room – ” all in one breath, voice going faster and higher into incomprehensibility.
“Brendon! If you don’t shut up and listen I swear that I will dye all your hoodies black and hide every single glitter pen, puff paint tube and pipe cleaner on this bus somewhere you will never ever find them!” Little known fact? Jon can be one cruel and scary motherfucker. Ryan’s got nothing on him when it comes to believable threats.
“Now, if we have your attention,” Ryan’s drawl was deceiving – soft, but coupled with the glare of a thousand fiery suns. Spencer, being the type to burn easily, wisely chose to stay silent.
“You three have been running around like it’s the end of the world and somebody stole your pudding cups. Frankly, Ryan and I are tired of being the secondary characters in some fucked-up romantic comedy!”
“You three are going to sit here and be honest with each other if it kills you. Otherwise we will kill you.” Ryan gestured towards the door. “Zack is standing outside with some fairly explicit orders. Jon and I will be leaving now. We expect you to figure this out before we get back.”
Jon and Ryan swept out the door, practically arm-in-arm. All three residents of the couch stared after them, faces screwed up to varying degrees of shock and horror, all equally red-faced.
Part V:
Several very silent minutes later, Haley’s quiet voice broke the air. “Um, uh…” Spencer couldn’t take it any more.
“Brendon, Haley and I love you,” he blurted. Brendon’s face turned an even deeper red than before.
“…But…” Spencer had never heard Brendon’s voice sound quite so … small.
“But we understand if you don’t feel the same way,” Haley said. “And we’re sorry if we’ve been making you uncomfortable. We just thought… well, hoped really, that you could maybe love us back even a little and I know that probably seems weird and you’re all grossed out and please don’t stop being our friend, we didn’t – we didn’t mean to – ” Haley trailed off as she finally looked up into Brendon’s face, which had gone perfectly still.
“Brendon?” Spencer’s voice was hesitant, but steady.
“I… I don’t understand. Is this a joke? Do you guys think this is funny?” Haley’s head shot up. Brendon didn’t sound angry or embarrassed, he just sounded sad.
“Why would we think this is funny Brendon? We – Spencer and I – have been trying to get your attention for months. We had a whole plan! You can’t tell me you didn’t notice anything! We thought maybe you were just trying to be polite and you didn’t really like us that way, that maybe you were skeeved out about the whole idea –“
Brendon interrupted Haley. “Wait, what?”
“Well, you keep running away all the time – ” she tried to explain.
“Well, you two keep making out practically on top of me!” Brendon shouted.
“So that maybe you’d take the hint and join in!” Spencer said exasperatedly.
“And all the porn lying around …”
“Was supposed to give you ideas!” Haley was yelling too. Brendon’s laugh rang out and both Haley and Spencer’s heads shot up, incredulous looks on their faces.
“Well, it certainly accomplished that. I’ve had plenty of ideas!”
“So why do you keep running away?” Spencer whined.
“I didn’t know you guys would think they were good ideas! What was I supposed to think, having horribly dirty thoughts about my drummer? And then having even dirtier thoughts about his girlfriend? I’ve been feeling like the worst friend ever and I’ve been in love with both of you for so long and I thought Spencer was straight and now you tell me you had some asinine plan to seduce me? You couldn’t have just told me?” Brendon’s voice had escalated into full blown shouting by the end.
“We didn’t want to scare you! I mean, you’re family’s Mormon and you’ve never shown the slightest interest in anyone and how the hell were we supposed to know?” Haley shouted right back at him. Spencer laid a calming hand on Haley’s arm. “Sorry, sorry, it’s just, I thought there was something wrong with me, and then you started to get sadder and sadder and I thought it must be my fault – our faults, and why are we fighting about this, oh my god, just kiss us already!”
Brendon hesitated, looking carefully at both Spencer and Haley. “Are you sure? Because I was kind of ok not having either of you – ” Spencer’s snort forced Brendon to amend his statement. “Alright I was almost okay with it, but I don’t think I could handle having you both and then you deciding it was fun but that three really IS a crowd.”
“Brendon honey, we’ve put a LOT of thought into this. Just, trust us, okay? Now,”
Haley glanced towards Spencer, eyes sharp and sly. Leaning forward she breathed into Brendon’s ear, “about those dirty thoughts….”
